Five crazy things found in people's rectums

1. This week police in North Carolina found a 10 inch gun hidden in a prisoner  Michael Leon Ward's  bum. An initial strip search failed to find the weapon. The gun was not loaded, but was in working condition. No word on where he hid the bullets.

2. A 60-year-old man told authorities that thieves shoved entire Coca-cola bottle in backside.  Let's hope he didn't waste this on a lame diet Coke.

3.  Maybe you remember the Seinfeld episode where George's father ends up with a pasta statue up his rear. This is life imitating TV. A Georgia lawyer claimed he was showering with his cell phone and managed to slip and fall and land right on top on his ringing cell phone. He's not taking any calls at the moment!

4.  The kitchen sink approach: This Florida man packed 17 Oxycodone pills, 1 cigarette, 6 matches, 1 flint, 1 empty syringe with an eraser over the needle part, 1 lip balm container, 1 condom, 1 CVS receipt, and a coupon. I guess he forgot the car at home,

5. This woman in the Netherlands either ingested an entire giant squid, or madame, you have an entire set of cutlery up you ass! Indeed she did. Obviously planning a dinner party.

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Max Mosley sues Google to remove references to his Nazi sex orgy

BAD BOY MAX: Former Formula One boss Max Mosley is suing Google to suppress references to his Nazi sex orgy. Back in 2008, now defunct News of the World broke the story about Max and complete with an explicit video of the action,  which has more of a sex dungeon motif than a Nazi one.

 “The fundamental thing is that Google could stop this appearing but they don’t or won’t as a matter of principle. The really dangerous things are the search engines,”Mosley told the Leveson inquiry into the actions of the British press.

Try typing "nazi sex orgy" into Google and see what you get. Sorry Max, but take this spanking like a man and call the dogs off Google!

 

Video: Naked robber captured by dog

OH MOMMA: Watching this naked man lead police on a car chase, only to be brought down by man's best friend might not be your cup of tea; then again maybe it is. Have a gander as this canine officer tackles the nature loving law breaker:

 

Brits test laser that blinds protesters

TURN A BLIND EYE: British-based Photonic Security Systems  has developed a laser that can be used against protesters to temporally blind them. The device, which resembles a rifle, shoots an intense beam of light at the target causing temporary blindness similar to briefly looking at the sun. Read more from the Telegraph: http://tinyurl.com/cedxgur

High fat diet causes butter shortage in Norway

Forget about the famous Norwegian Wood, what they need in Norway right now is butter. A high fat low carb diet craze there has caused a run on the butter supply leaving their coffers empty of butter. Butter that can be found on the market is going for four times the normal price.

"Sales all of a sudden just soared, 20 percent in October then 30 percent in November," Lars Galtung, a flack from Norway's biggest farmer-owned cooperative, told Reuters.

I've put a couple of pounds of butter in the mail to them already. Now off to sleep in the bath. 

Norway needs you!

Cop busted for pooping in public

Lunsford

WHEN YOU GOTTA GO : An Ohio cop has been charged with defecating in public and voyeurism outside of a local motel. Justin Lunsford was allegedly urinating, defecating and indulging in voyeurism outside the Parkside Inn. Officers were called to the motel after reports that a man wearing only a hoodie was urinating in the parking lot behind the motel.

Lunsford  has since resigned from the force.  Perhaps he has a new career lined up as a performance artist.

Read more: http://tinyurl.com/d2xqlhy

Penis shaped foods (aka cucumbers) too sexy for Muslim women says cleric

HOLD THE PICKLES: A Muslim cleric warns that "penis" shaped foods, such as cucumbers and carrots, are too sexy for Muslim woman. There is a danger that they may have "sexual thoughts" should they lay their eyes on the offending veggies. The cleric was quoted by el-Sawsana news and further expounded on his wisdom by advising that a male relative first cut the offending penis shaped vegetable before allowing the woman to indulge. Actually, I think Lorena Bobbitt tried that on her husband John, albiet a little more directly. Read more: http://tinyurl.com/d7ceyej

Cucumber or are you just happy to see me?         Credit: Wikipedia

252 pound pole dancer • Elevator accident • Drunk news anchor • Geezer bandit strikes • Portman lesbian sex video

• JUST GROSS: 252 pound, 5'4" pole dancer says she feels sexy: http://tinyurl.com/82jceyo

• SADLY GOING DOWN: Woman dies in California elevator accident: http://tinyurl.com/89o2dpv


• 3 SHEETS TO THE WIND: This news anchor may have had one too many: http://tinyurl.com/ccz2scs

• BAD ASS: Geezer bandit strikes again (Video): http://tinyurl.com/7nagx2m

• HOT! Natalie Portman Mila Kunis Lesbian Sex Video: http://tinyurl.com/23g3r4o

An 80's show best forgotton: Computer Beach Party

From  Found Footage Festival: "This is a trailer we cut for a forgotten '80s sex comedy found on VHS. Featuring poorly-dubbed dialogue, a naive understanding of how computers work and music by heavy metal band Panther. "

As I said – best forgotten but worth a look for the laugh: