Ten things you have to admire about the French

Oh, the French! We saved their asses in two world wars and they turn their noses to the sky when we walk by. We love to hate them, and hate to love them. There are things they should be admired for, however. Here are a few of them:

1. They taught us that you can be short and be the leader of a first world country. Think Napoleon and Nicholas Sarkozy. The latter gained some press for having tall men removed from his security detail, a very Nepoleanish move. As a bonus, but you can score a hot babe to keep you company in the palace – think Carla Bruni.

Sarkozy and Carla

2. France, which seems to be perpetually on vacation or strike, has emerged as one of two economic strongholds in western Europe, although this is more a sad  indicator of the rest of the EU's weakness than France's strength.

3. The Eiffel Tower.

4. They are superb gift givers, as in the Statue of Liberty. This generous gift was given to the U.S. in 1886 by the people of France, is surely one of the world's best presents, ever.

5. The French Poodle. Considered the second most intelligent dog in the world, (the border collie claims first place place in the brains department), this dog is almost smart enough to run the EU. It's a great watch dog, chauffeur and all-around pet.

6. Food. Forget about Paul Boscue and the Michelin starred restaurants and think about "steak-frites". French fries alone should earn your admiration, although it's questionable if their origin is actually French. I'll throw in French Toast just to round out the argument.

7. Wine. From the cellars of over-priced Bordeaux to the vineyards of Champagne, the French are the true kings of the wine industry. They taught us that a single bottle of wine can command thousands of dollars and even bad vintages of first growth houses will be sought after. American Robert Parker may have brought them down a couple notches, but let's face it, they have mastered the art of wine making and marketing better than most of the world.

8. Language. Aside from an upper class British accent, listening to well spoken French is delightful, even if we cannot understand a word of it.

9. Sex. The French ooze sexuality and have none of the puritanical hold backs that confine North Americans. Their women are sensuous, they know how to dress and presumably undress.

Brigitte Bardot back when she was a godess

10. They think Woody Allen is a god. Really.

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Lindsay Lohan Playboy edition breaks ad records but magazine still in trouble

According the Business Insider, the Lindsay Lohan Playboy edition sold a whopping 55 percent more ad pages than same issue the year before. The problem is, the magazine is still in trouble. While circulation is not is free fall, the ad percentage rates are. Declining advertising in print is not news, but the question is whether Hef's leadership is a tad out of step with today's market. Read more here.

Max Mosley sues Google to remove references to his Nazi sex orgy

BAD BOY MAX: Former Formula One boss Max Mosley is suing Google to suppress references to his Nazi sex orgy. Back in 2008, now defunct News of the World broke the story about Max and complete with an explicit video of the action,  which has more of a sex dungeon motif than a Nazi one.

 “The fundamental thing is that Google could stop this appearing but they don’t or won’t as a matter of principle. The really dangerous things are the search engines,”Mosley told the Leveson inquiry into the actions of the British press.

Try typing "nazi sex orgy" into Google and see what you get. Sorry Max, but take this spanking like a man and call the dogs off Google!

 

Video: Naked robber captured by dog

OH MOMMA: Watching this naked man lead police on a car chase, only to be brought down by man's best friend might not be your cup of tea; then again maybe it is. Have a gander as this canine officer tackles the nature loving law breaker:

 

Dutch architects create a design for Seoul skyscrapers that looks like the exploding 9/11 World Trade Center towers

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING: Dutch architects created a design for Seoul skyscrapers that look like the exploding 9/11 World Trade Center towers. Many, including the families of the 9/11 victims, are not amused. The architectural firm has since apologized, but you really have to wonder what the creative process was that went into the design. The firm, MVRDV, said it had not intended to create an image resembling the attacks and  did not see the resemblance during the design process.

From the company website: "We sincerely apologize to anyone whose feelings we have hurt. It was not our intention."

From the company Facebook page: "A real media storm has started and we receive threatening emails and calls of angry people calling us Al Qaeda lovers or worse. MVRDV regrets deeply any connotations The Cloud projects evokes regarding 9/11, it was not our intention. The Cloud was designed based on parameters such as sunlight, outside spaces, living quality for inhabitants and the city. It is one of many projects in which MVRDV experiments with a raised city level to reinvent the often solitary typology of the skyscraper. It was not our intention to create an image resembling the attacks nor did we see the resemblance during the design process. We sincerely apologize to anyone whose feelings we have hurt, the design was not meant to provoke this. The design inspiration of The Cloud is visualised in the image here attached." 

The Cloud

The design

Brits test laser that blinds protesters

TURN A BLIND EYE: British-based Photonic Security Systems  has developed a laser that can be used against protesters to temporally blind them. The device, which resembles a rifle, shoots an intense beam of light at the target causing temporary blindness similar to briefly looking at the sun. Read more from the Telegraph: http://tinyurl.com/cedxgur

High fat diet causes butter shortage in Norway

Forget about the famous Norwegian Wood, what they need in Norway right now is butter. A high fat low carb diet craze there has caused a run on the butter supply leaving their coffers empty of butter. Butter that can be found on the market is going for four times the normal price.

"Sales all of a sudden just soared, 20 percent in October then 30 percent in November," Lars Galtung, a flack from Norway's biggest farmer-owned cooperative, told Reuters.

I've put a couple of pounds of butter in the mail to them already. Now off to sleep in the bath. 

Norway needs you!

Blazing Xmas lights: Crazy Christmas light shows

BLAZING LIGHTS BATMAN: Christmas is coming ... yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people go a little overboard with the decorations, putting on a great show for the rest of us Yuletide slackers. Time to spread some good cheer.  Have a peek at the Christmas light extravaganza put together  by Gawker: http://tinyurl.com/7or8a6u

List: Five smartest porn stars

Direct from the great folks at RANKER (list and words),  here's a short list of a few porn stars with IQs well above room temperature: 

•  "Asia Carrera studied piano as a child and she performed at Carnegie Hall twice before she turned 15. She's starred in over 275 adult films in her career  and has as IQ of 156. She also attended Rutgers University from which she earned a full scholarship, where she double-majored in Business and Japanese." 

• "Annie Sprinkle is the first porn star known to have earned a Ph.D. She earned her doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, California."

• "Shy Love has starred in over 250 adult films during her career. She graduated high school at the age of 16, then earned a bachelor's degree and two Masters Degrees. She received her Bachelor's degree in Accounting, then went of to get  her Master's Degree in Accounting immediately afterward. Soon after, she became the comptroller of a multi-national pet pharmaceutical company in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. And during her employment there, she found the time to take night classes to earn her second Master's Degree in Taxation."

• "Lorelei Lee, 28, is a well known porn star who has managed being a student and adult film star for almost 10 years. She is a 2008 graduate from San Francisco State University andenrolled at NYU's creative writing program. Despite much criticism, she continues to juggle both her adult professional career AND her grueling academic duties/schedule."

•  "Nina Hartley started working in strip clubs during her sophomore year of nursing school to support herself. She graduated magna cum laudefrom San Francisco State University's nursing school, and is a registered nurse."

Read the complete list of 13 brainy porn stars on RANKER. 

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Cop busted for pooping in public

Lunsford

WHEN YOU GOTTA GO : An Ohio cop has been charged with defecating in public and voyeurism outside of a local motel. Justin Lunsford was allegedly urinating, defecating and indulging in voyeurism outside the Parkside Inn. Officers were called to the motel after reports that a man wearing only a hoodie was urinating in the parking lot behind the motel.

Lunsford  has since resigned from the force.  Perhaps he has a new career lined up as a performance artist.

Read more: http://tinyurl.com/d2xqlhy

Penis shaped foods (aka cucumbers) too sexy for Muslim women says cleric

HOLD THE PICKLES: A Muslim cleric warns that "penis" shaped foods, such as cucumbers and carrots, are too sexy for Muslim woman. There is a danger that they may have "sexual thoughts" should they lay their eyes on the offending veggies. The cleric was quoted by el-Sawsana news and further expounded on his wisdom by advising that a male relative first cut the offending penis shaped vegetable before allowing the woman to indulge. Actually, I think Lorena Bobbitt tried that on her husband John, albiet a little more directly. Read more: http://tinyurl.com/d7ceyej

Cucumber or are you just happy to see me?         Credit: Wikipedia

Topless woman attacks city worker • The 9 badest jokers of all time

HUH? A topless woman in Heflin, Alabama attacks city worker. The worker was feeding some animals at the time. Now dating attacker .... well maybe not: http://tinyurl.com/8yb3ul6

Anita Henderson attacked city worker

• THE JOKE IS ON YOU: The 9 all-time best jokers according to BuzzFeed. These folks know how to pull off the perfect joke and how to throw a pie. Read on: http://tinyurl.com/7f8846w

Godin

The most amazing parallel parking job ever (VIDEO) • Mr.Skin's top 10 celebrity nude scenes

This is the most amazing parallel parking job ever! Watch this dude in New York squeeze into the tiniest parking spot I have ever seen and then do it  again when he departs:

 

While you're here have a look at Mr.Skin's top 10 celebrity nude scenes:

Mr Skins Top 10 Greatest Celebrity Nude Scenes - watch more funny videos

Nude yoga • Lindsay Lohan's Playboy cover • UFO on Mercury

• GETTING NAKED: Nude Yoga might be responsible for the breakup of Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian,  but it's not just for the rich and famous. Nude yoga for you: http://tinyurl.com/6qbc3qs

• PLAYBOY: Lindsay Lohan's Playboy cover has been leaked. Have a look: http://tinyurl.com/dxesckp

• BEAM ME UP:  A NASA camera photographed an object that looks like the Starship Enterprise orbiting around the planet Mercury. Can the Klingons be far behind? Have a peak: http://preview.tinyurl.com/bqjpamv

252 pound pole dancer • Elevator accident • Drunk news anchor • Geezer bandit strikes • Portman lesbian sex video

• JUST GROSS: 252 pound, 5'4" pole dancer says she feels sexy: http://tinyurl.com/82jceyo

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• 3 SHEETS TO THE WIND: This news anchor may have had one too many: http://tinyurl.com/ccz2scs

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• HOT! Natalie Portman Mila Kunis Lesbian Sex Video: http://tinyurl.com/23g3r4o

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These are possibly the worst album covers in the world

Thank-you Steve Carter for putting together this great list of the worst album covers ever. I remember some pretty horrific covers from my youth, my father's Herb Alpert covers come to mind, but Steve has put together this great visual blog of some real doozies. Here's a sample:

See the rest of Steve's list here.

Best quotes: The wit and wisdom of Silvio Berlusconi

Credit: Wikipedia

Silvio Berlusconi is gone (for the moment at least) after cavorting in Italian politics for 17 years. Like most politicians, Berlusconi loved to talk, perhaps without the filter that most others employ. Here's a few of his more memorable quotes:

“As always, I work without interruption and if occasionally I happen to look a beautiful girl in the face, it’s better to like beautiful girls than to be gay.”

While visiting survivors of the earthquake in Abruzzo, who were living in emergency tents: “They should look at it as a weekend of camping.”

On American president Obama: “Handsome, young and also suntanned.”

“I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I put up with everyone, I sacrifice myself for everyone.”

“Only Napoleon did more than I have done, but I am definitely taller.”

“Mussolini never killed anyone. Mussolini sent people on holiday in exile.”

To socialist German lawmaker Martin Schulz: “Mr. Schulz, I know there is in Italy a man producing a film on the Nazi concentration camps. I would like to suggest you for the role of Kapo. You’d be perfect.”

From a wiretapped conversation referring to a line of young women outside his door he reports: “... doing only eight girls, because I couldn’t do more.”

Adios Silvio!

Naked basketball player goes on rampage

Credit: Fresno Police

The phrase "Let's get naked" is part of the lexicon in the 'How to Party at College' handbook that I assume every student somehow receives upon beginning their higher education. The phrase "Naked Rampage" appears to be a new entry.

After being cut from the Fresno Pacific University basketball team, 21-year-old student Leonard Tyrell Young followed the first part of the handbook and "got naked". So far so good. Unfortunately, Young wend on to assault two women, attempt to steal a police car, and attack a police officer and his dog – all while naked.

 Police had to use a Taser to bring down the six-foot naked basketball player. Apparently, Young had been dismissed from the team for "a violation of team standards."

In case you are wondering, drug use was a factor – page one of he handbook. Young is being held on suspicion of carjacking, resisting arrest, vandalism, harming a police dog and being under the influence of a controlled substance.

 Read more here.

Jesse Ventura moving to Mexico? Maybe ... check out some of our favourite Jesse quotes

Credit: Wikipedia

You may have heard that Jesse Ventura is contemplating a move to Mexico after his lawsuit against the government for illegal search at airports was dismissed. Ventura has had problems with airport security because of a titanium hip implant that sets the metal detectors on high alert. Can't blame him for being pissed, but a move to the kinder, gentler Mexico just might not be the best of moves, even given his colourful past. Jesse has been a Navy Seal, wreslter, a mayor and a governor, just to mention a few of his careers.

 Time to take a look at some of Jesse's more memorable quotes:


Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. 


And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud. If I wanna be president, I probably can. I also believe that government has no business telling us how we should live our lives.


 I think our lifestyle choices should be left up to us. What we do in our private lives is none of the government's business. That position rules out the Republican Party for me.


 I asked Dalai Lama the most important question that I think you could ask - if he had ever seen Caddyshack.


 I decided to run for governor because I got mad... I want to make government more directly accountable to the people. 


 I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there's not much I can do about that. But I'm going to be honest. I'm going to continue to speak my mind, and that's who I am. 


 If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would come back as a 38 double-D bra.


 Industrial hemp is a very useful plant. I challenged the attorney general to get rid of the criminal stigma associated with hemp so we can look at it in terms of how it might be useful.


.If you were to come to Minnesota, I could have you locked up like that. That's power. 


 Wrestling is ballet with violence. War isn't civilized. War is failure. It's the ultimate result of a breakdown in public policy and soldiers are the machines that handle that breakdown. In warfare, you're taught to do whatever you have to, to stay alive. 


 Even while I was a Navy SEAL, I participated in the 1970s peace movement. I marched at peace rallies. I admit it wasn't so much because of my great love of peace as it was because of my great love of female companionship. To the women in the movement, I was the poor beleaguered victim of the system, sent off against his will to fight this horrible war. They didn't realize that the navy had no draft! 


 I'm not disparaging suicides when I call them weak, I'm pointing out that anybody who would consider doing a thing like that needs help. I don't think a normal, mentally healthy person commits suicide. Of course, there are exceptions; people who are terminally ill are a different issue. But in the vast majority of cases, suicide is a tragedy that does unbelievable damage to the family and friends the suicide leaves behind. You don't want to encourage people to do such a thing.


 I looked at my wife and said, "You know what? If these people put their own dollar-an-hour raise above the integrity of our nation, I don't wanna be their boss anymore."


 Whenever you take a stand on an issue, people will line up around the block to kick your ass over it. By having an opinion, you make yourself a target. Why do you think Congress likes to hide behind closed doors at decision-making time?


Need more quotes? Read more here.