The Cry Baby is on sabbatical ....

Friday, December 30, 2011

Ten things you have to admire about the French

Oh, the French! We saved their asses in two world wars and they turn their noses to the sky when we walk by. We love to hate them, and hate to love them. There are things they should be admired for, however. Here are a few of them:

1. They taught us that you can be short and be the leader of a first world country. Think Napoleon and Nicholas Sarkozy. The latter gained some press for having tall men removed from his security detail, a very Nepoleanish move. As a bonus, but you can score a hot babe to keep you company in the palace – think Carla Bruni.

Sarkozy and Carla

2. France, which seems to be perpetually on vacation or strike, has emerged as one of two economic strongholds in western Europe, although this is more a sad  indicator of the rest of the EU's weakness than France's strength.

3. The Eiffel Tower.

4. They are superb gift givers, as in the Statue of Liberty. This generous gift was given to the U.S. in 1886 by the people of France, is surely one of the world's best presents, ever.

5. The French Poodle. Considered the second most intelligent dog in the world, (the border collie claims first place place in the brains department), this dog is almost smart enough to run the EU. It's a great watch dog, chauffeur and all-around pet.

6. Food. Forget about Paul Boscue and the Michelin starred restaurants and think about "steak-frites". French fries alone should earn your admiration, although it's questionable if their origin is actually French. I'll throw in French Toast just to round out the argument.

7. Wine. From the cellars of over-priced Bordeaux to the vineyards of Champagne, the French are the true kings of the wine industry. They taught us that a single bottle of wine can command thousands of dollars and even bad vintages of first growth houses will be sought after. American Robert Parker may have brought them down a couple notches, but let's face it, they have mastered the art of wine making and marketing better than most of the world.

8. Language. Aside from an upper class British accent, listening to well spoken French is delightful, even if we cannot understand a word of it.

9. Sex. The French ooze sexuality and have none of the puritanical hold backs that confine North Americans. Their women are sensuous, they know how to dress and presumably undress.

Brigitte Bardot back when she was a godess

10. They think Woody Allen is a god. Really.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Lindsay Lohan Playboy edition breaks ad records but magazine still in trouble

According the Business Insider, the Lindsay Lohan Playboy edition sold a whopping 55 percent more ad pages than same issue the year before. The problem is, the magazine is still in trouble. While circulation is not is free fall, the ad percentage rates are. Declining advertising in print is not news, but the question is whether Hef's leadership is a tad out of step with today's market. Read more here.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Max Mosley sues Google to remove references to his Nazi sex orgy

BAD BOY MAX: Former Formula One boss Max Mosley is suing Google to suppress references to his Nazi sex orgy. Back in 2008, now defunct News of the World broke the story about Max and complete with an explicit video of the action,  which has more of a sex dungeon motif than a Nazi one.

 “The fundamental thing is that Google could stop this appearing but they don’t or won’t as a matter of principle. The really dangerous things are the search engines,”Mosley told the Leveson inquiry into the actions of the British press.

Try typing "nazi sex orgy" into Google and see what you get. Sorry Max, but take this spanking like a man and call the dogs off Google!


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Video: Naked robber captured by dog

OH MOMMA: Watching this naked man lead police on a car chase, only to be brought down by man's best friend might not be your cup of tea; then again maybe it is. Have a gander as this canine officer tackles the nature loving law breaker:


Monday, December 12, 2011

Dutch architects create a design for Seoul skyscrapers that looks like the exploding 9/11 World Trade Center towers

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING: Dutch architects created a design for Seoul skyscrapers that look like the exploding 9/11 World Trade Center towers. Many, including the families of the 9/11 victims, are not amused. The architectural firm has since apologized, but you really have to wonder what the creative process was that went into the design. The firm, MVRDV, said it had not intended to create an image resembling the attacks and  did not see the resemblance during the design process.

From the company website: "We sincerely apologize to anyone whose feelings we have hurt. It was not our intention."

From the company Facebook page: "A real media storm has started and we receive threatening emails and calls of angry people calling us Al Qaeda lovers or worse. MVRDV regrets deeply any connotations The Cloud projects evokes regarding 9/11, it was not our intention. The Cloud was designed based on parameters such as sunlight, outside spaces, living quality for inhabitants and the city. It is one of many projects in which MVRDV experiments with a raised city level to reinvent the often solitary typology of the skyscraper. It was not our intention to create an image resembling the attacks nor did we see the resemblance during the design process. We sincerely apologize to anyone whose feelings we have hurt, the design was not meant to provoke this. The design inspiration of The Cloud is visualised in the image here attached." 
The Cloud

The design

Brits test laser that blinds protesters

TURN A BLIND EYE: British-based Photonic Security Systems  has developed a laser that can be used against protesters to temporally blind them. The device, which resembles a rifle, shoots an intense beam of light at the target causing temporary blindness similar to briefly looking at the sun. Read more from the Telegraph

High fat diet causes butter shortage in Norway

Forget about the famous Norwegian Wood, what they need in Norway right now is butter. A high fat low carb diet craze there has caused a run on the butter supply leaving their coffers empty of butter. Butter that can be found on the market is going for four times the normal price.

"Sales all of a sudden just soared, 20 percent in October then 30 percent in November," Lars Galtung, a flack from Norway's biggest farmer-owned cooperative, told Reuters.

I've put a couple of pounds of butter in the mail to them already. Now off to sleep in the bath. 
Norway needs you!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Blazing Xmas lights: Crazy Christmas light shows

BLAZING LIGHTS BATMAN: Christmas is coming ... yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people go a little overboard with the decorations, putting on a great show for the rest of us Yuletide slackers. Time to spread some good cheer.  Have a peek at the Christmas light extravaganza put together  by Gawker

List: Five smartest porn stars

Direct from the great folks at RANKER (list and words),  here's a short list of a few porn stars with IQs well above room temperature: 

 "Asia Carrera studied piano as a child and she performed at Carnegie Hall twice before she turned 15. She's starred in over 275 adult films in her career  and has as IQ of 156. She also attended Rutgers University from which she earned a full scholarship, where she double-majored in Business and Japanese." 

"Annie Sprinkle is the first porn star known to have earned a Ph.D. She earned her doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, California."

"Shy Love has starred in over 250 adult films during her career. She graduated high school at the age of 16, then earned a bachelor's degree and two Masters Degrees. She received her Bachelor's degree in Accounting, then went of to get  her Master's Degree in Accounting immediately afterward. Soon after, she became the comptroller of a multi-national pet pharmaceutical company in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. And during her employment there, she found the time to take night classes to earn her second Master's Degree in Taxation."

"Lorelei Lee, 28, is a well known porn star who has managed being a student and adult film star for almost 10 years. She is a 2008 graduate from San Francisco State University andenrolled at NYU's creative writing program. Despite much criticism, she continues to juggle both her adult professional career AND her grueling academic duties/schedule."

•  "Nina Hartley started working in strip clubs during her sophomore year of nursing school to support herself. She graduated magna cum laudefrom San Francisco State University's nursing school, and is a registered nurse."

Read the complete list of 13 brainy porn stars on RANKER

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Cop busted for pooping in public

WHEN YOU GOTTA GO : An Ohio cop has been charged with defecating in public and voyeurism outside of a local motel. Justin Lunsford was allegedly urinating, defecating and indulging in voyeurism outside the Parkside Inn. Officers were called to the motel after reports that a man wearing only a hoodie was urinating in the parking lot behind the motel.

Lunsford  has since resigned from the force.  Perhaps he has a new career lined up as a performance artist.

Read more:

Penis shaped foods (aka cucumbers) too sexy for Muslim women says cleric

HOLD THE PICKLES: A Muslim cleric warns that "penis" shaped foods, such as cucumbers and carrots, are too sexy for Muslim woman. There is a danger that they may have "sexual thoughts" should they lay their eyes on the offending veggies. The cleric was quoted by el-Sawsana news and further expounded on his wisdom by advising that a male relative first cut the offending penis shaped vegetable before allowing the woman to indulge. Actually, I think Lorena Bobbitt tried that on her husband John, albiet a little more directly. Read more:

Cucumber or are you just happy to see me?         Credit: Wikipedia

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Topless woman attacks city worker • The 9 badest jokers of all time

HUH? A topless woman in Heflin, Alabama attacks city worker. The worker was feeding some animals at the time. Now dating attacker .... well maybe not:

Anita Henderson attacked city worker

• THE JOKE IS ON YOU: The 9 all-time best jokers according to BuzzFeed. These folks know how to pull off the perfect joke and how to throw a pie. Read on:


Friday, December 9, 2011

The most amazing parallel parking job ever (VIDEO) • Mr.Skin's top 10 celebrity nude scenes

This is the most amazing parallel parking job ever! Watch this dude in New York squeeze into the tiniest parking spot I have ever seen and then do it  again when he departs:


While you're here have a look at Mr.Skin's top 10 celebrity nude scenes:

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Nude yoga • Lindsay Lohan's Playboy cover • UFO on Mercury

• GETTING NAKED: Nude Yoga might be responsible for the breakup of Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian,  but it's not just for the rich and famous. Nude yoga for you:

• PLAYBOY: Lindsay Lohan's Playboy cover has been leaked. Have a look:

• BEAM ME UP:  A NASA camera photographed an object that looks like the Starship Enterprise orbiting around the planet Mercury. Can the Klingons be far behind? Have a peak:

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

252 pound pole dancer • Elevator accident • Drunk news anchor • Geezer bandit strikes • Portman lesbian sex video

• JUST GROSS: 252 pound, 5'4" pole dancer says she feels sexy:

• SADLY GOING DOWN: Woman dies in California elevator accident:

• 3 SHEETS TO THE WIND: This news anchor may have had one too many:

• BAD ASS: Geezer bandit strikes again (Video):

• HOT! Natalie Portman Mila Kunis Lesbian Sex Video:

Topless women • Cat-butt coffee • Sarkozy points • Post-date rant • Bikini stunt • Sex mags

• Women's netball team poses topless to bring in cash - $$:

• Cat-butt coffee – expensive - MORNING FIX:

• Thirty photos of Nicolas Sarkozy pointing - THE FINGER:

• Post-date rant - READ IT:

• Hot bikini stunt reunites woman and dog – SEE IT:

• How sex mags made the world better: READ IT:

• Man jailed for sex spanking - GET WHACKED: 

•Voyager enters "cosmic purgatory"- NEXT STOP HEAVEN:

Sunday, December 4, 2011

These are possibly the worst album covers in the world

Thank-you Steve Carter for putting together this great list of the worst album covers ever. I remember some pretty horrific covers from my youth, my father's Herb Alpert covers come to mind, but Steve has put together this great visual blog of some real doozies. Here's a sample:

See the rest of Steve's list here.