2. A 60-year-old man told authorities that thieves shoved entire Coca-cola bottle in backside. Let's hope he didn't waste this on a lame diet Coke.
3. Maybe you remember the Seinfeld episode where George's father ends up with a pasta statue up his rear. This is life imitating TV. A Georgia lawyer claimed he was showering with his cell phone and managed to slip and fall and land right on top on his ringing cell phone. He's not taking any calls at the moment!
4. The kitchen sink approach: This Florida man packed 17 Oxycodone pills, 1 cigarette, 6 matches, 1 flint, 1 empty syringe with an eraser over the needle part, 1 lip balm container, 1 condom, 1 CVS receipt, and a coupon. I guess he forgot the car at home,
5. This woman in the Netherlands either ingested an entire giant squid, or madame, you have an entire set of cutlery up you ass! Indeed she did. Obviously planning a dinner party.
